


Someone who loves you

by Sermocinare



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Abuse, Dark, Darkfic, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gaslighting, Hux is a terrible person and a sadist, M/M, Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Unrequited Love, Whipping, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-05-12 18:42:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5676559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sermocinare/pseuds/Sermocinare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo Ren has been in love with General Hux for a long time. When Supreme Leader Snoke picks up on this, he sees the perfect chance to finally crush whatever part of Ben Solo is still left and extinguish the lingering light in Kylo Ren. To that end, Snoke gives Hux a carte blanche to do whatever he wants with Kylo, as long as Hux manages to break him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Someone who loves you

**Author's Note:**

> Written for this prompt on the TFA Kinkmeme:  
> http://tfa-kink.dreamwidth.org/1082.html?thread=623930#cmt623930

„You will keep all of this from Kylo Ren.“

Hux smirked. Of course he would keep the agreement between him and the Supreme Leader from Ren. Snoke had his reasons, reasons which Hux didn't care about. No, he would keep this conversation from Ren because otherwise, it would be a lot less fun.

–

Kylo kept himself from letting out a frustrated sigh. These meetings were pure torture. Not only were they a waste of his time, seeing how he was not involved in anything pertaining to the construction of Starkiller base, no, they also forced him to sit next to General Hux for hours, close enough to touch him if Kylo just moved his hand a few inches. Which was both wonderful and terrible, seeing how much Kylo wanted to do just that. He knew it was a weakness, this pining for the other man, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get Hux out of his head. 

“...this concludes this week's meeting. Ren, a word, if you please?”

Kylo had been looking forward to visiting the gym and venting some of his frustration via pushing himself to near collapse, but apparently, it would have to wait. 

The two of them remained seated until everyone else had filed out of the door, and then, for a few moments, silence descended on the conference room. 

Finally, Hux spoke: “Do you really think I wouldn't notice?”

Kylo was glad about his mask, since he wouldn't have wanted Hux to see his confused face: “Notice what, General?”

“You watching me,” Hux said with a smug expression. 

For a second, Kylo felt as if the bottom had dropped out of his stomach. Then, he pulled himself together, sitting up straight: “I am observing your work.”

Hux gave a quiet chuckle, then leaned forward in his chair, getting into Kylo's space: “Don't give me that line, Ren. You're not observing my work. You're observing me.”

“I am not...”

“Then take off that helmet and tell me so to my face.”

For a moment, Kylo stayed perfectly still as his mind went through all the options he had, from simply getting up and leaving to actually confessing his feelings. The latter was impossible, of course, but his hands were already moving to unfasten his mask as if of their own volition.

There was a hiss, and a soft thunk as he put the mask aside. Kylo took a deep breath, looking Hux straight in the eyes, hoping Hux would find his words convincing: “I am observing your work.”

“Liar.”

And before Kylo could respond, his face was taken between two strong hands and pulled forward until his lips crashed against those of the general. Kylo's surprised gasp quickly turned into a quiet moan as Hux bit his lower lip, his hands finding purchase on the other's shoulders. 

Hux seemed impatient, demanding, all teeth and thrusting tongue, and Kylo gasped for air when they finally pulled apart. Every nerve in his body was singing, and it was almost embarrassing how aroused he was from a simple kiss.

“My quarters. Now,” Hux growled into Kylo's ear, and Kylo could only nod. Right now, he would follow Hux to the ends of the galaxy and back.

It turned out that the walk to Hux' quarters felt pretty much like going to the end of the galaxy, but as soon as the doors had slid closed behind them, Kylo found himself pinned against the wall, Hux' mouth once again taking possession of his. Hux' hands were on Kylo's hips, holding him still while he pressed against Kylo's lean body. 

Once again, Kylo's head was swimming when Hux let up, moving his mouth to nibble and suck on Kylo's neck. This was all going so fast, and it was so different from what Kylo had imagined. He felt as if he had no control over anything, not even his own body, and it felt wonderful. 

Kylo's thoughts snapped back into the present when Hux grabbed his hips even harder, pulling him around and pushing him backwards until the back of his thighs hit the desk that was standing against the opposite wall. 

Letting the desk support some of his weight, Kylo continued to kiss Hux' lips, face and neck, all the while feeling the other man's hands run over his body, stroking and pinching. Finally, Kylo couldn't take it any more, and ground his still clothed erection against Hux's hips with a loud moan.

“Guess we better get on with it, then,” Hux chuckled against the skin of Kylo's neck, making a pleasant shiver run through Kylo's body. 

Making quick work of each other's clothes, Kylo took a moment to drink in the sight of Hux' naked form. It was clear that Hux wasn't a combatant any more, but he had kept himself in shape. A few small scars bore witness to the fact that the general had participated in some front-line fighting before being promoted to his current post. Some day, Kylo would ask Hux about them. But not today. Right now, all he wanted was to touch that warm skin, feel Hux' body against his. 

And he was going to get his wish. Putting not much more than a hand's breadth distance between them, Hux spun Kylo around, Hux's hand clamping around the nape of his neck and bending him down until Kylo's hands were braced flat on the surface of the desk. He whined heatedly, pushing back against Hux' body, which had molded itself against his own. 

“You really want it, don't you?”

“Yes,” Kylo groaned, “I want you.”

“Don't move.” With a light slap to Kylo's hip, Hux stepped away and into the bedroom, leaving Kylo shivering with lust and anticipation. Gladly, it wasn't for long.

“That's a good boy.”

Hux pressed a kiss to his nape, and only a moment later, two slicked-up fingers pushed inside of him. Kylo hissed from the burn, then cried out when, only a few, rapid heartbeats later, the fingers were replaced with Hux' cock. 

“Shhhh.” Once again, Kylo could feel Hux' lips on his nape, and then a sharp nip as Hux closed his teeth over the sensitive spot. “You'll get used to it.”

Kylo whined in response, willing his body to relax. Yes, it hurt, with Hux holding on to Kylo's hips hard enough to leave marks while thrusting into him, but at the same time, this was all he had ever wanted since having been assigned to the Finalizer. Being kissed and held and fucked, no longer trying to keep control over his emotions, but giving in to them. This was good.

–

Hux stretched out on his bunk, hair still wet and messy from the shower he'd taken. He wondered if he should thank the Supreme Leader. It really had been a good idea. Ren was a decent lay, and so wonderfully eager to please. 

And easy enough to get rid of once they were done. All it had needed was a little reminder that Ren had apparently left that helmet of his lying around in the conference room, and wouldn't it be embarrassing if people found it there, knowing that he had had some private words with the general.

–

Kylo hadn't thought that his professional interactions with General Hux could get any more awkward than they had been, but he was quickly proven wrong. In public, Hux was as cold and antagonistic towards Kylo as ever, possibly even more so, and even though Kylo understood that Hux wanted to keep their relationship out of the prying eyes of the crew, his heart gave a painful tug every time Hux snapped or sneered at him. 

But in private, there was no doubt about what they had. As soon as Kylo stepped into the other man's quarters, Hux would be all over him, and Kylo doubted that there was any horizontal surface in the room Hux hadn't already fucked him on. 

And it wasn't as if Kylo didn't appreciate that. Being wanted, needed, and not just for his powers or his ruthlessness in battle but for who he was outside of that felt good. Still...

Kylo put his hands up against Hux's shoulders and gently pushed him away, breaking the passionate kiss they were sharing: “Slow down.”

“Slow down?” Hux gave him a look of amused disbelief: “Why? Don't tell me you can't keep up. Because,” Hux' smile widened into a sharp grin as he pushed his hand between them and gave Kylo's half-hard cock a squeeze, “I know that you can.”

Kylo whined with arousal as Hux moved in to suck and nip at his neck, but he was determined to get his point across. 

“What I meant was that we're in no rush, we can take our time.”

The other man's laugh was muted against Kylo's shoulder: “Sorry, but I'd rather fuck you on the dinner table than have dinner with you.” Hux dragged his lips up Kylo's neck until the were next to Kylo's ear: “And you love to be fucked, don't you? So why waste time with anything else?” 

The whispered words were punctuated with a sharp nip to Kylo's lobe that made him shiver. Hux was right. Why waste the few stolen hours they had? 

Because he wanted a bit more from this. Because while they had done it so often that Kylo was feeling sore, there was an aspect of intimacy that wasn't there, something beyond the physical. But maybe it was him who was going to fast, or expecting too much too fast? Hux was even more guarded with his feelings than Kylo himself, if that was even possible, so maybe it was on Kylo to draw him out a bit.

“You're right,” Kylo said, giving Hux a sultry smile, “I love having you inside me. And you're always the one doing all the work. So how about today, you just lie back and leave it to me?”

Hux pretended to ponder the suggestion for a few seconds before giving Kylo a nod: “I think you riding my cock would make a pretty picture, yes.”

After a while, though, it seemed that Hux had gotten tired of that picture, or maybe just of the slow pace Kylo was setting. 

“Enough of that.” 

With one swift, powerful motion, Hux grabbed Kylo's waist and turned them around, pushing Kylo's knees up before sheathing himself inside the other man again.

Kylo gave a short grunt at being manhandled so roughly, and his brow wrinkled in confusion. Hux had seemed happy about the idea, so why the sudden change? He didn't get any time to think about it, though. Kylo's movements had been controlled and gentle, taking care not to hurt himself more than necessary, but that couldn't be said for the way Hux was moving inside him. Every single thrust made a sharp pain course through him, and it didn't take long before he was whimpering pitifully, trying to clamp his legs around Hux's sides in an attempt to make him slow down.

The only thing Kylo got for that, though, was a growl and even more pain as the other man's fingernails dug into the flesh of his thigh.

“Please...” the word was almost a sob. “It hurts so much.”

Hux stopped. Then, he grinned down at Kylo, all teeth and no warmth: “I told you it would.”

The next thrust made Kylo howl. He hurt, he couldn't breathe, and his world turned red. Hux needed to stop. Now.

A second later, Hux' body crashed into the opposite wall, then crumpled on the floor.

No. Panic rose inside him, and Kylo jumped off the bed, rushing over to where Hux was shakily lifting himself up, holding his left shoulder which had taken most of the impact.

“I'm sorry,” Kylo said, carefully reaching out to touch the other man's shoulder, “I just wanted you to stop for a moment...”

His words were cut short as Hux rounded in on him and backhanded him in the face, hard enough to make Kylo's vision go black for a moment: “Get. Out.”

“Please, Hux, I'm sorry, I lost control, it happens...”

“I said,” Hux growled, his eyes burning with cold anger, “Get. Out. And don't come back.”

Kylo swallowed hard, the words hitting him harder than Hux' hand had only moments before. With shaking hands, he quickly slipped into his clothes and headed to the door, throwing a last glance over his shoulder. He had ruined it. Ruined it all, and now he wasn't even getting a chance to fix it. 

–

“Fucking freak,” Hux muttered to himself, wincing as he tried to move his shoulder. Nothing broken or sprained, but it would take a few days before he would have full use of his arm back. Well, more time for that little bastard to stew over what had happened. Oh, of course Hux would take him back. But first, he had to talk with Supreme Leader Snoke about what to do about Ren's Force powers. It just wouldn't do, having the threat of being thrown around like a rag doll hanging over him like that. Well, Snoke would have a solution to that, of that he was sure. 

–

The bleep of his pad caused Kylo to look up from his tinkering. Usually, he wouldn't bother, not before he had completed whatever task he had set himself, but that particular tone meant it was a message from command. Possibly something urgent. Possibly from Hux.

Kylo reached for the pad and tapped the message button. It was from Hux, and what it said made his heart jump from both joy and trepidation.

_Meet me at my quarters. 21:00 standard._

That was it. Nothing more. No indication if this was strictly business, if it was about them, if Hux was still furious or not. 

Kylo worked his jaw, staring at the screen. Well, the only way to find out was to go. He had two more hours to ready himself for whatever was to come.

–

The last thing Kylo had expected was Hux getting up from his desk, walking over to him and putting a hand at the back of his neck to pull him down and plant a kiss on Kylo's forehead.

“I forgive you.”

Kylo felt as if a mountainous weight had shifted off his soul, and he buried his face against Hux' neck: “I'm sorry.”

“It's all right.” Hux pulled back so that he could look at Kylo's face: “Sometimes, you can't control yourself.” He chuckled: “All those repair orders speak volumes about that.”

Kylo grimaced. His uncontrolled rage was a weakness he still had to eradicate.

“But broken bones are worse than broken consoles,” Hux continued, his expression sobering, “and if we want to continue our relationship, which I think we both do, I have to be sure something like that won't happen again.”

Kylo opened his mouth to speak, to assure Hux that he would control his powers from now on, but Hux held up a hand to silence him: “Luckily, I've come up with a solution.”

He went to retrieve something from his desk drawer, and when he turned around, Kylo's body stiffened, and he swallowed visibly.

Hux smiled: “I see you've already had some experience with a Force-inhibiting collar.”

“Yes. And I can assure you that it won't be necessary, I can and will control myself from now on, it only happened because”

“Stop.” The word was sharp, delivered in a tone of voice usually reserved for bringing a group of Stormtroopers to heel, and Kylo snapped his mouth shut. 

“It is necessary. I know you would try your best, but we both know that it wouldn't be enough. So come here.”

Kylo clenched his hands, then relaxed them again. He hated those things. They had been part of his training, to make sure he didn't rely on his powers alone when facing an enemy, but no matter how proficient his combat skills had become, the collar had always left him feeling weak. As if one of his limbs had been cut off. Which was true, because the Force was a part of him. How dare Hux to even suggest that? Didn't Hux know what it would do to him?

Kylo's hands clenched into fists again, and he could feel the fire rise in him. How dare Hux stand there with that self-assured look at his face, ordering him to let himself be collared like a rabid dog. 

Something inside of Kylo snapped, but this time, it wasn't his control. This time, it was his rage, draining out of him like water. That was exactly what Hux had been talking about, wasn't it? Something angered him, and he would let himself fly off the handle. And last time, his lover had been hurt.

His shoulders slumped, and Kylo stepped in front of Hux. For a moment, he averted his eyes, then raised his chin in submission, letting Hux collar him. 

“There you go,” Hux murmured. Then, he put a hand on Kylo's cheek, letting his thumb stroke over the other man's cheekbone before leaning in for a kiss: “I'm proud of you.”

Hux' words made a small warmth blossom in Kylo's chest, and he gave Hux a smile that was almost shy: “Can we forget about that whole thing now and go back to how it was?”

Hux kissed him again, then pulled back and took a few steps into the room before turning around to face Kylo again: “Not quite. The collar takes care of the symptom, but the root cause of your little problem is still there.”

Kylo blinked quizzically at the general, inclining his head to the side. What else did Hux want of him?

“You lack discipline, with yourself and others,” Hux went on, putting his hands behind his back and looking straight at Kylo. “We will have to do something about that.”

Again, Kylo tensed a little. He didn't like the direction this was taking, but after all, Hux just wanted to make sure they could continue to be together, didn't he?

“Strip.” Hux' voice was calm as he unbuckled the belt of his uniform.

“No.” Kylo took a step back, paling at the implication. This wasn't right. This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

Hux gave an annoyed sigh, as if he were dealing with an unruly child: “This is for your own good, so stop being difficult. I promise it will be over quickly, and then we can move on.”

Kylo didn't move, his eyes drawn to the thick strip of leather dangling from Hux' hand. He could just walk out, right now. He should walk out. Take off that collar and throw it in the trash. Leave all of this behind.

Leave Hux. 

Hands trembling, Kylo closed his eyes and started to unfasten his robes.

–

Kylo watched the stars outside the window, listening to Hux' breathing, deep and calm. He hadn't been able to fall asleep yet, the welts on his back still stinging enough to keep him awake even through his exhaustion. 

Moving carefully, Kylo scooted closer to Hux and nuzzled the other man's shoulder. He hadn't cried out, hadn't pleaded, but hadn't been able to stop the tears either. When it was finally over, Hux had wiped Kylo's cheeks dry with his thumbs, had held him close, kissed him and told him how good he had been. 

They had fucked, but when Kylo had reached for his clothes, Hux had told him to stay. Which meant that they had moved on, didn't it? Kylo had hated always having to leave like a thief in the night, and now he was allowed to stay, lying in the darkness next to Hux and watching the stars.

So why did he feel so completely, utterly alone?

–

Hux drained his drink, then put the tumbler down on the desk and frowned. Supreme Leader Snoke was getting impatient. Hux had told him from the beginning that this would take time, everyone had a different breaking point and some took longer to reach it than others. 

He himself was quite happy that Ren hadn't reached that point yet. He had never liked Ren, didn't trust all of that mystical mumbo-jumbo the Supreme Leader put so much faith in, but he had to admit that Ren was proving to be a quite entertaining toy. 

But Snoke wanted results. Well, it wasn't as if he were running out of creative ideas to try to make Ren snap.

–

Kylo let his robes fall to the floor of the sanitation cubicle and let the water run hot, letting the small room steam up before stepping inside the shower. He hissed when the water first touched his skin, making the welts and small cuts on his back and thighs sting like fire. 

Lifting his hand to his neck, Kylo gingerly touched the ring of bruised flesh that ran around his throat. While taking him from behind, Hux had wriggled two fingers underneath the collar and given a tug so hard that for a moment, Kylo thought his windpipe would crack. He hadn't even been able to cry out from the pain. After they had finished, Hux had released him from the collar, and Kylo had collapsed onto the bed, unable to stop his body from shaking. Never mind using the Force. 

He probably could have stayed. He usually was allowed to after going through particularly harsh treatment, and more often than not, Kylo did stay. He didn't want anyone to see him like that, broken, used and limping. Besides, he craved the tenderness he got on those occasions, even though he knew by now that Hux didn't care for him one bit. Not beyond the satisfaction Kylo could give him. 

He leaned his head against the wall, letting the warm water soothe his body. If only it could soothe his mind, too.

Kylo hated himself for this, for all of it. For being stupidly in love and not noticing the signs. He could have stopped this right in the beginning. But now? Now he had dug his own prison. Oh, of course he could just stop seeing Hux. The problem was, even if Kylo never went back to Hux' quarters, he would still have to work with the man. See him every day, knowing what had happened between them and knowing that Hux knew. Which was somehow the worse part. 

And he couldn't ask the Supreme Leader to reassign either of them. Snoke would want to know why, and there was no way Kylo would be able to explain. Besides, their work was more important than Kylo's problems, even if those problems were tearing at his very substance. 

Kylo grit his teeth and pounded his fist against the wall. If only he could kill these feelings inside himself. But he wasn't able to do that, was he? Stupid. Weak. Trapped.

–

“Ben Solo is dead. I killed him.”

Only that he hadn't. Ben Solo was very much alive, that much had become crystal clear of the last months. Ben Solo was alive, and if Kylo Ren wanted to survive, he would have to kill him. Here, now, on this small bridge that breached the deep, dark chasm he was standing over. 

All Kylo Ren had to do was turn on his lightsaber and plunge it into Han Solo's heart. Kill that man who reminded him that Ben had been loved, once. That he himself had the capacity to love. That he had possessed hope instead of ambition, that he had felt warmth instead of red-hot rage. It would be easy. One little push of a button.

And Ben Solo laughed at Kylo Ren. Laughed at the man who thought that he would be able to kill Ben with the push of a button. Ben, who had survived everything that had been done to him. Who was still there after months of abuse that should have killed him, abuse that had almost been tailor-made to get Kylo Ren to finally be done with this so-called weakness. Finally be done with love. Kylo Ren, who thought that if he only hated enough, raged enough, suffered enough, he would be free.

“Come home.”

Ben took the lightsaber from his father's hand and let it clatter to the floor, where it rolled over the edge and fell into the darkness. Ben didn't watch it go, though. Instead, he looked into his father's eyes and nodded.

“Yes. I want to go home.”

He wrapped his arms around his father, letting himself be pulled close, letting the warmth and love flow through him. 

Ben Solo had survived, and Kylo Ren would die. Not today, not tomorrow, not for a long, long time. But he would die, because Ben Solo was the stronger one, the survivor.


End file.
